Last night I watched a fascinating movie dealing with Inter relationships on many platforms, across gender, race, culture, religion and country. Furthermore, the main character grapples with her sexuality because she is in love with 2 people at the same time. The movie is titled “To Each, Her own”. Her one relationship is a lesbian one and the other crosses the boundaries of race, culture, religion and country. And…. she is from a conservative family. Initially I thought that she just can’t decide who to love and that she is being incredibly unfair to both partners. However, as the movie progresses, I realised that she truly loves them both.
I was recently in New Zealand and stayed with a couple who were openly in an open relationship. It’s not what one would first think. They are ordinary people who want to share partners and accept everyone as is, non-judgmentally.
I am in an openly lesbian relationship and have been happily married to my partner for 5 years now. The movie was reminiscent of me coming out as a lesbian in often conservative family and religious circles. It made no sense that I was not allowed to be who I am sexually. We live in an era where it’s easier to come out (in some countries) as gay or lesbian. I can only wonder if the next frontier for society to understand sexuality, is for those people who are judged in open relationships. These are the people who are hiding from society today. Along with many transgender people. Is it ok? If their relationship does not threaten anyone, their sexual encounters are safe and they are honest with all partners, then what is the deal? The one key element would be that they are honest with all partners up-front, so that no one partner is caught off guard. I imagine an open relationship only truly works if all parties are honest and in agreement with the situation. In other words, everyone needs to know what to expect right from the start.
As per my book “The Pathway to Love” I like to think of myself as non-judgmental and accepting of all. For that is ultimately the pathway to love. To accept people as they are. It does not mean that we agree with them, or in many cases can even relate to them. However so long as no direct pain is inflicted on other people, can we find it in ourselves to also invite open relationship people to our table? I would love to hear your thoughts below!
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